


Dad Jokes

by Chatspunsaregold52



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Dad Jokes, Dadrien, Emma is 110 percent done, Emma's maybe like 13 or 14, F/M, Gen, Hugo loves puns, Hugo's like 10 or 11, I love Dad jokes and Dadrien way too much, Marinette's hardly in this (sorry), PUNS!!!, don't you dare tell me he wouldn't do this, just like his dad, shower ideas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:40:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26604598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chatspunsaregold52/pseuds/Chatspunsaregold52
Summary: Adrien uses his collection of dad jokes against his daughter, who is not amused.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Emma Agreste & Hugo Agreste & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 4
Kudos: 76





	Dad Jokes

Emma Agreste sat at the kitchen table, working on her Science homework. Hearing the sound of a key in the lock, she turned to see her dad walk in the front door. 

"Hey, Dad. Did you get a haircut? It looks nice", she commented.

He grinned. Oh, no. She knew that grin.

"Well, as a matter of fact-"

"Dad, no. Please no-"

"I got them all cut", he finished.

"Daaaaad", she groaned, "Why are you like this?"

"Your fault, Emma", her mom commented from where she was making dinner in the kitchen, "You gave him the perfect opening. Should've known he wouldn't pass it up."

"Darn right. It's my job, after all", her dad said, walking into the kitchen to kiss her mom. Longer than necessary, in Emma's opinion. Adults were gross. Wrinkling her nose, she turned back to her homework. 

"Whatcha workin' on, Ems?", her dad asked, coming to peer over her shoulder. 

"Science", she told him.

"Hmmm, well one thing to know about science: don't trust atoms. They make up everything", he remarked, sagely shaking his head.

"Don't you dare."

"Hey, did you ever read that book about anti-gravity? I couldn't put it down!"

"Dad, I swear-"

"Honey, don't swear at me. It's not very nice."

She could only growl in response.

"Well, I was going to tell a time-travel joke, but you didn't like it very much."

Emma hit her head on the table repeatedly.

"Hey, do you wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tearable."

She tried to put her hands over her ears but her dad pried them away, leaning close to deliver his next line.

"Did I ever tell you about the first time I met your mother? I fell heels over head* in love."

This time, she just rolled her eyes. 

Her mom cut in. "That's enough puns for now, kitty. Time for dinner. Where's Hugo?"

"In his room playing video games or something, I don't know. I'll go get him, Mom."

~~~~~

Later, sitting at the dinner table, the puns started up again.

"Hey Dad, can you pass the butter?", Hugo asked. 

"Did you hear the rumor about the butter?", their dad asked as he passed it to Hugo, "Well, I'm not going to spread it."

Hugo snorted as Emma rolled her eyes again. 

"Hey Dad, it's too bad we didn't have pizza. I bet you had some cheesy jokes you could've used", Hugo smirked.

"That's my boy!", their dad grinned.

"Mom, pass me the eggs, please?", Emma mumbled, trying to ignore the punning.

"Why do you think eggs don't tell jokes, Hugo?", their dad asked thoughtfully.

"I don't know, Dad. What do you think?"

"Well, probably because they'd crack each other up."

Both Hugo and their dad started snickering. Emma just ignored them, focusing on her dinner. She could see her mom trying to hide a smile.

"What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant."

"Yeah, just like that joke", Emma mumbled.

Her dad raised an eyebrow. 

"What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador."

Hugo chimed in, and soon it was an all-out pun war.

"Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself? It was two-tired." 

"What's the best part about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus." 

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh." 

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer (no idea)." 

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles!" 

"What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? 'Bison'!" 

"I went camping the other day. It was in-tents." 

"I used to hate facial hair... then it grew on me." 

"DAD!", Emma burst out, fed up with all of the jokes, "I mustache you to stop! Can you please shave your jokes fur later? Because I can't handlebar this right now!"

For a few seconds, her family just stared at her, shocked.

Then her dad said, "Emma, you really shouldn't make dad jokes if you're not a dad. It's a faux pa."

**Author's Note:**

> Don't try to tell me that Dadrien wouldn't do this, because you would be wrong. He would totally do this. 
> 
> *Also, when he says "heels over head in love", I'm referencing Ladybug and Chat Noir's first meeting, when they're hanging upside down, because his heels are over his head. Get it? It's a bit of a wordplay on the classic "head over heels in love". I know, I'm hilarious. (That's sarcasm, if you didn't catch that)
> 
> I got the jokes from these two websites:  
> https://www.countryliving.com/life/a27452412/best-dad-jokes/  
> https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-dad-jokes-puns/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic  
> and some from my own experience or that I made up.
> 
> If you don't get any, comment and I would be happy to explain. Or if you have a good one that I didn't include, please comment. As you can probably guess from my username, I love puns. Feel free to share some!


End file.
